It seems that for the last 3 months, everyone around me now knows my future child personally. Family, friends, co-workers and complete strangers all seem to know creepy details about the little guy that only a dirty street-corner psychic would know.
They know what his sleeping habits will be, how often he will want to eat, the frequency of his bowel movements and whether he will sleep in my bed. It has actually become impossible for me, as the father of my soon-to-be-born child, to make any statement about my expectations without being corrected by the closest Miss Cleo.
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| "I see that your wife is pregnant. That will be $49.99 please." |
In essence, what it seems like everyone around us is saying is that because this is our first child, my wife and I are morons. We know nothing about children at all. In fact, we probably wouldn't know a human baby from a newborn river otter.
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| That's embarrassingly cute. | | |
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However, I'd like to let everyone in on an apparently well-kept secret. Babies are all very different. I know, I know...shocking news indeed. For example, if you ask my mother about me as a baby, she will most definitely swoon, and then tell you what a wonderful baby I was. If you ask my mother-in-law about my wife as a baby...er...never mind. You might not want to do that.
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| "Get that stupid eTrade baby off the TV mom!" |
The point is, just because your little one had certain traits, doesn't mean that everyone's will. And even if everyone's did, just let us have our dreams and expectations. Let us new parents bask in the perfect little family world that our imagination has created. A world without spit-up, sleepless nights, and diaper blow-outs. We will be hit with reality soon enough without you contradicting everything that we're hoping for.
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| Consider your bubble burst! |
I realize that life doesn't always go according to plan, but it does go a little easier if you have a plan. And right now we plan to do certain things a certain way. Once the little guy makes his appearance, a lot of those "things" will most certainly change. But until then, if you're clairvoyant enough to predict my unborn child's behavior, then you should be able to rattle off this week's winning lottery numbers for me too. If you can't do that, then next time I mention, in anticipation, something that I'm looking forward to doing with the baby when he is born, simply say, "that will be exciting for you" and move on.
